In a Nutshell...

Ancient Roman “entertainment” industry. Raised by a she-wolf. Dodgeball, but with rocks. Avoiding the smelly plebes. Beverly Hills of Ancient Rome. All under two roofs. Political landscape. The greatest meeting place in the world. Ancient Stairmaster. Non edible wedding cake. From riches to rags. Et tu, whiskers? Affair of the stomach. Raise the roof. Fountain of youth. Pope hearts will go on. Watch your steps. “Sacrificing” for your art. Back in the day.. Cribs Special Edition: Vatican City. Cool pope’s driveway. To the Pope-mobile. After party at the Vatican Museum. Vatican rooftop lounge. Tales from the Vatican crypt. Clown mercenaries. Hidden eats. Stick your fingers where they don’t belong. A flower a day keeps your girlfriend at bay. That church is so basic. Peeping Tommaso. Burial fails. Burial goals. Factory gone “bust.” Testaccio, for men. Jesus waz here. Holy-Rome Walk of Fame. Comb the catacombs. Single-use circus. Cecilia Metella, we hardly knew ye. From riches to ruins. Everlasting orgies. Hell or ‘high water.’ I want to be inside you, Rome. Steal from the poor and give to the rich. Owl-man. There goes the neighborhood. Get bored to, and of, death. Unruined ruins. All we are saying is give pasta a chance. Extreme art therapy. Living dangerously. Wine solves all problems. It’s what’s on the outside that counts. Ancient man cave. Don’t be fooled by this town’s charm. Recreationism. Beasts of burden. Bizarro King Arthur. Immaterial wealth. An early bath. The wine taste’s fine, you’re the problem! Drink and drive. Walking down cheesy street. Black out drunk. Crooked paintings and politics. Horrific giants. The Manhattan of Middle Aged Italy, with more pizza, less attitude. A vampire safe zone. Fava beans and a nice chianti. Heavy metal priests. Baptism by reservation only. The redemption of man, any day now. The excommunication prize in literature goes to Dante. Michelangelo and Da Vinci paint-off. The excommunication prize in physics goes to Galileo. A family of “artists.” Renaissance man hall of fame. So fresh, so clean. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you spaghetti and meatballs. Decent proposals. If heaven had a food court… Oversized statue, undersized genitals. Una vita durissima. The flying bicycle. Enchanted Hitler. Castle measuring contest. Lawyers have no talent. Horny horny hippos. The garden of eatin! Chant damn it, chant! Florence’s bastard son. Depressed Colossus. Shoddy construction. Cruise control. Every church has its thorn. Unnecessary dolphins. Amalfi’s estranged brother. God’s way of saying you need to lose weight. Another depressed Colossus. Milk the beach for all it’s worth. No use resisting, surrender to commerce. Rhapsody in blue. Naked shores, naked old dudes. Nature’s loss is our gain...

Even castles made of sand fall into the sea, eventually.

Part 1: Rome

Part 2: Rome Expanded

part 3: lazio

Part 4: Tuscany

part 5: florence

part 6: pisa & Cinque Terre

Suggested Itinerary - Based on Length of stay

3 Days: Part 1. 6 Days: Parts 1 and 4. 9 Days: Parts 1, 4, and 5. 12 Days: Parts 1 and 4-6. 15 Days: Parts 1 and 3-6. 18 Days: All